He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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