I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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