u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
