Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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