I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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