It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
