So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize