'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
