A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
