Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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