you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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