Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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