he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
