I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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