FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
