He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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