I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
