I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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