hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize