we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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