thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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