Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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