how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's shark week go big or go home
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
