yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
