Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize