Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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