There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
