Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
