The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Drake has all the answers
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
