Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
