I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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