well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
