I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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