My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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