Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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