I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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