Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
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