i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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