I need help removing her.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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