You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
