i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
