I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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