I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
