So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
