You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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