i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize