I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
