I seem to have left my pride at pride
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
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BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
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I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to make out with him forever
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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