I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
