i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Four minutes until I can fart!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
