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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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