i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
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Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.