dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.