I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.