Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.