P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
