i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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