I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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