Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Never joke about your clitoris.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
